The Last Prank of the Marauders
by Mr. Blackswan
Summary: Peter is bad, Sirius was 13 years in Azkaban, James and Lily are dead ... Dumbledore is the leader of the light and Susan Bones is just another girl at school. That's the world Harry lives in - but he will have to learn that appearance and reality is no synonym, least of all in a world where people are able to do magic. Rated M: For scenes of light sexual nature (just to be sure).
1. Prologue

Prologue: Appearance and Reality

Sirius Black sat in his cell in Azkaban, leaning against the cold wall and sobbed silently. He didn't seem to see his former headmaster who viewed him with a sadness evident in his old eyes. He was too deep in his own thoughts. _It had all been his fault! Had he only listened to Moony – Moony had always been right and yet he had never listened. And even though Moony had always proven to know people's thoughts and human nature better than he himself did, Sirius had never listened to him – not even this last, this crucial time._

Tears streamed down his cheeks when he thought back to the last conversation they had had. _Moony had even brought some evidence that Wormtail might be the traitor in their midst! And Sirius hadn't believed him, and why? Because he had thought that Moony himself was the traitor and was only trying to blame it on Wormtail to save himself from being discovered._

_Why it had even occurred to him that Remus might've been the one spying on them Sirius didn't want to know – but deep inside him it was clear that it was only because of his condition. Only because he was a bloody werewolf Sirius had suspected him of breaking the marauders' vow! _

_He had always prided himself in being better than his family and yet in the most important moment of his young life he hadn't been the slightest little bit better than them! No, worse even! He hadn't only let himself be guided by unfounded prejudices, no, he had begun to mistrust a friend! It was Moony for goodness sake - a person he knew almost better than himself, and all this only because he turned once a month into a wolf! At least his family had stuck to their principles and …_

Sirius interrupted his thoughts when Dumbledore stepped nearer to his cell. "I must say I'm surprised that you are able to feel emotions!" his gaze was cold, the blue eyes untwinkling, unforgiving "That's not evident for a man who betrayed his best friends and fooled a whole nation!"

"Albus!" Sirius looked into his former headmaster's eyes through a curtain of tears. "You have to help me! I swear by Merlin I'm not the traitor! Peter Pettigrew –"

Anger flashed in Dumbledores' eyes "I'm afraid you've lost your right to call me Albus, Mr. Black! And don't you dare to blame your deeds on one of the only true heroes of our times!"

"But –"

"No but, Mr. Black! You have killed Mr. Pettigrew, I will not allow that you also kill his name! He received the Order of Merlin first class you know?" his mouth formed a sad smile "At least something, his parents still have! This and the knowledge that their son's ex-best friend rots in Azkaban … and I have to say I personally think that to be a very satisfying thought!"

Sirius sunk bank to the wall and flung his arms around his knees again. There was no hope if not even Dumbledore believed in his innocence anymore!

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Albus Dumbledore was smiling inside when he stepped out of Azkaban prison and in front of the assembled crowd of ministry officials, even though he wore one of the gravest faces he had ever worn. There was no place for taking chances right now. If someone saw trough his schemes he would be executed instantly.

"I fear there is no chance that he's actually innocent." He spoke slowly and with as much contempt as he could muster. "He even tried to blame his crimes on Peter Pettigrew! Another kick at our already wounded souls I think."

Amelia Bones, the daughter of Peter and Francesca Bones and youngest Auror leader since the legendary Richard Brown, sobbed. She had been Sirius' girlfriend for quite some time and didn't understand how he could've fooled her that much and that long – let alone how he could try to blame this on Peter! Poor Peter whom they had always played pranks but also sheltered from the Slytherins that had bullied so many students.

"I'm sorry, Amelia." Dumbledore had laid his hand on her shoulder while she was deep in thought. "Voldemort has fooled many other people and Black even managed to fool myself."

She nodded. "Thank you. I- I still feel as if I should've seen something. It just feels so wrong – as if he really had been set up." She looked up and saw something flash in Dumbledore's eyes "Don't worry – I know he has fooled me! It's just so hard."

Dumbledore let his hand rest on her shoulder when she begun to sob. "I know it's hard Amelia … believe me I know! But we have to be strong now, keep going … for our world and for Harry Potter."

She smiled and nodded. She never saw Dumbledore giving Bartemius Crouch Jr. a sign to become her shadow. She never would've suspected that from this moment on till the day her former boyfriend fell through an old veil deep in the ministry 15 years later she would be followed constantly because of a command of none other than Albus Dumbledore, supposedly leader of the light.

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The last auror had just finished his round and given over the patrolling duty to the dementors, when Sirius wished away the tears on his face and stood up. Silently he switched on the small lamp and waited, his eyes fixed on the door.

He didn't twitch a finger until suddenly a rat came in through the bars of his cell and transformed back to a very much alive Peter Pettigrew.

Now - had anyone other been standing there and witnessed the next scene, I think they would've gone to a mental healer out of free will. The two men of which one was supposedly dead and the other a mass murderer just stood there for about ten seconds and mustered each other until finally Sirius smiled and hugged Peter like a brother, asking "Everything went according to the plan?"

"Yeah." The shorter man replied with a smile on his face and handed Sirius a wand "Dumbles bought it?"

Sirius laughed barkingly and begun to stroke an imaginary beard and said in a perfect Dumbledore imitation "People do have the tendency to only see what they want to see, young Peter."

Peter grinned and begun wave his wand in complex motions towards the cell door. "_– repello dementorum, repello mors morderis, confundus areanum, imaginatus"_ he pointed his wand on Sirius _"Sirius Black."_

"Lily's newest invention" he explained Sirius "Makes them believe you are still in here whenever you are not if they don't want to talk to you."

Sirius smiled affectionately "Brilliant old Lily. Now my turn. _Observatum cameratis." _He repeated the spell that would function like security cameras and additionally alarm them whenever someone came near who would want to speak with Sirius. "And finally: _Portalum securis!_" He pointed the wand on a spot of the wall where Wormtail had just finished painting some runes on. Then he turned around and smiled at his younger friend and bowed exaggeratedly.

"Messr. Padfoot bits Messr. Wormtail to take the honor and be the first person ever to break out of Azkaban!"

Peter grinned back "Messr. Wormtail would like Messr. Padfoot to have that honor and wants to state that he himself will always be the first dead person to break out from wheresoever!"

They shared a laugh and Sirius finally stepped through the portal into Potter manor, a huge manor that was somewhere on a small island near Greece. The perfect thing about it was, that only those could enter and even remember the building whose name were written in the guest book of Potter manor – a small book that could only be seen and written into by Lord and Lady Potter themselves.

When he stumbled out of the small portal into the huge living room that he hadn't seen since the summer of their sixth year he sunk down on his knees and triumphantly stretched his arms in the air. Three months of Azkaban were over!

"They made it, James!" he heard Lily shout and looked up to see her rush over and hug him.

"Lily!" he murmured and hugged her back, then went over to pull James and Remus into a brotherly hug. "So – Dumbledore believes Harry's under his control, Dumbledore believes we're dead – what's next?"


	2. Chapter 1: Shouldn't you be dead?

Chapter 1: Aren't you supposed to be dead?

* * *

Minerva sat down at her table, still exhausted from the last detention she had to lead Mr. Malfoy through. She frowned when she saw the small roll of parchment on her table – somehow that reminded her off –

"Good day Minerva," an unknown voice said behind her. Minerva spun around, her wand already in motion to hex the intruder into oblivion when she registered that once again a storyteller had come to her office. "I believe you know my fellow scribe and mentor 'Old Crow', is that right?"

Minerva nodded, unable to say even a few words. Mr. Crow's story 'An Inconvenient Truth' (which she had stored in her secret safe with the code '5084287') had touched and angered her too many times to just forget about him. She hoped that Mr. Blackswan would prove to be a worthy apprentice of Mr. Crow.

* * *

Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry towered silent and deserted from students in the warm summer-evening, the red-glowing roof and the dark walls giving the castle a spooky mood. High up in the castle where the view over the landscape was the best and the sun lasted till late into the evening bathing the landscape in a reddish-golden colour lay the headmaster's office.

Inside that office, Albus Brian Wulfric Percival Dumbledore, Grand Sorcerer, Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot, Supreme Mugwump and supposed leader of the light stood at the huge window front and looked down on the black lake.

It had been a good week, Dumbledore decided: finally the problem with Black had been taken care of, Harry Potter was back under his complete control and because of the poorness of the Weasley family he, Albus, had even gained a new spy.

Ronald Weasley had come to his office the night after the 'adventure in the ministry' as the teaching staff liked to call the little incident which ended in Sirius Black's death. Albus had been able to persuade him to keep an eye on Harry and report important occurrences to him. Though admittedly he had needed the help of Arthur and Molly Weasley – at first there had been something like loyalty towards his friend in the boy … The dream of a hundred thousand Galleons a year had quieted that voice in Ronald's conscience pretty quick though.

It was not the first spy in Harry's close circle, but it was most certainly the most effective one. Hermione Granger had been reporting to Albus on the boy since the first year when he had persuaded her that with her being a muggleborn there would absolutely be no cry of outrage in the British wizarding society if she somehow got sent back to her parents with her memory wiped.

However Ms. Granger had never been as close to Harry as Mr. Weasley. Of course – she was one of the closest friends of Harry but Harry had always chosen Ronald's opinion over that of Hermione even though the girl was obviously the smarter one of the two. So, even though there had been regular reports from her side, really important information had never reached the headmaster's ears.

But that didn't matter anymore. With Mr. Weasley spying on Mr. Potter Albus had learned not only that Mr Potter did have a crush on Ms. Chang (something that even Severus had been able to tell him after the so-called 'Legilimency lessons') but also that he quite enjoyed to watch Ms. Bones, Ms. Abbot, Ms. Bell and Ms. Johnson during his DA-meetings and quidditch trainings.

Of course Ms Granger couldn't have told him that, Ronald only knew it because Harry liked to talk about them before going to sleep – but it was information like that that could prove crucial in the end. After all this information had brought Mr. Weasley an extra 5000 Galleons and he himself had gotten to know that a witch with big breasts could always seduce something out of him if it should become necessary.

"Professor Snape is about to knock on your door, headmaster!" the voice of the gargoyle interrupted his musings. Albus liked that system – the gargoyle would always warn him when someone told it the password and make the headmaster look even more omniscient because he always knew who knocked on the door seemingly without having seen the guest.

"Come on in, Severus" he called exactly the second the potion's master knocked on his door.

The thirty year old man strode in his cloak waving behind him making him look like an over-grown bat. There was a sneer on his face … a sneer that was always visible when Severus thought about –

"Potter was kidnapped, headmaster!" he sneered.

"WHAT?" Dumbledore jumped up and rushed over to his potion's master. "Tell me everything!"

"I don't know any more than you do, headmaster. Somehow he got himself kidnapped – no doubt he was being reckless, not acknowledging our hard work to keep him …"

"That's enough, Severus!" Dumbledore spoke with a finality that made Snape's rants stop dead. His thoughts raced. Who would kidnap Harry? No … the question was, who WAS ABLE to kidnap Harry? The Death Eaters certainly not ... not as long as Harry was inside a 300 meter radius of his house. So perhaps …

"Where was Harry kidnapped, Severus? And why was no one of the order there?" he urged and rushed down the stairs. It was crucial that he could make himself a picture of the scene and it would be for the best if he was already gone by the time the aurors arrived. Who knew if they were able to trace down the slightly illegal blood wards to himself. And experience had shown that they didn't like the 'greater good' too much if it interfered with the law.

"He was on one of his stupid morning jogs" the professor sneered "no doubt he wants to become like his father – using his fame, and good looks if he gets more in shape, to seduce witches his age!"

"Severus! I believe I asked you why no one of our people was there." Professor Dumbledore asked sharply, positively interrupting a rant about James Potter he knew had been about to come.

Snape sneered but let go off Potter for the moment "There were three people on duty: Tonks, Lupin and Moody. Moody soon fell behind because of his leg and apparated to the next street where Potter would normally come through. Neither Potter nor Lupin or Tonks ever came though so Moody walked to the small park … the part of the jogging route he had skipped … only to find Tonks stunned and tied and Lupin and Potter gone. No doubt the boy somehow managed to break all the safety charms we placed there for him!"

"Severus, that's quite enough! We both know he can't break our wards! Does young Nymphadora remember something?"

"No, Moody wasn't able to break the memory charm on her" he sneered "I think you know what that means?"

Albus nodded, his eyes untwinkling "I fear Tom might already have attacked earlier than I would've thought it possible. Either that or Harry was kidnapped by another very powerful wizard."

* * *

Amelia Bones was an angry woman. Years ago she had been the girlfriend of Sirius Black womanizer, transfiguration genius, youngest chief auror in a century and supposed mass murderer. It had been like a slap in her face when she had learned that apparently Sirius, _her_ Sirius whom she believed to know better than anyone else, had betrayed Lily and James Potter and killed a dozen muggles without hesitating even one second.

However it had been much harder to bear when she had been told two month ago, by the same Albus Dumbledore who had admitted having been fooled by Sirius too, that Sirius had died. It hadn't hurt at first of course, no she had hated him more than anyone else for twelve years, but when she had learned that apparently her Sirius hadn't been guilty after all, it had taken all her widely respected willpower not to sink down on the floor and cry.

She had done so later though when she had come home. She still remembered her niece Susan holding her and trying to comfort her even though she hadn't had an inkling what had been wrong with her aunt.

Amelia smiled briefly at the mental image of her beloved niece that she had brought up since the day her brother and his wife had died. Edgar and Anne had died about one week before the Potters in an attack on their home and …

No, now wasn't the time to ponder on the losses of the last war, now it was the time to do what she still could do for Sirius and first of all clear his name. When she had done that she would look through all the old ministry reports until she would find what she was looking for: The names of the individuals who put Sirius into Azkaban without a trial!

"Madam Bones?" the voice of her secretary came through the door "You are needed in the central. Harry Potter was kidnapped." Amelia groaned – just when she had thought the month couldn't get any worse …

* * *

A few hours after Amelia Bones and her team of elite aurors had arrived at Privet Drive, Surrey Albus Dumbledore, Nymphadora Tonks and Alastor Moody were sitting inside the headmaster's office. They hadn't found any evidence at the crime scene and had quickly apparated away before the aurors arrived.

"'m sorry Albus" Alastor Moody said now for the third time "Should've apparated somewhere I could've seen them the whole time!"

Dumbledore patted his shoulder "It's not your fault Alastor! Even the best of us make faults sometimes – and you couldn't have known that inside the wards there was still the possibility of an attack! I didn't expect that possibility either."

Inside he was deeply worried though. The list of the people he knew or had known who would be able to break down his wards was very short: Gellert Grindelwald, Tom Riddle, Nicolas Flamel and Lily or James Potter had they still been alive. The last two not because they were as strong as himself, but because they shared Harry's blood and therefore were able to break the blood wards on their heir.

However he had put up wards against the two of them (just in case they decided to return as ghosts), all Death Eaters and of course Sirius Black at Privet Drive so they couldn't come anywhere near Harry which was necessary to break the wards.

And since Black had finally been eliminated there was no way that someone of them had taken Harry out of his care. Gellert was still in Nurmengard for all he knew, Nicolas didn't either and additionally there was no reason why he would want to kidnap Harry. And that left only –

"Tom must have recuperated faster than I thought it possible," he whispered and swore inwardly. That was a fault that shouldn't have happened.

"It could always been a third power," Moody suggested "Not everyone accepts Voldemort's return!"

Dumbledore shook his head. "I think we can rule Dolores and Amos out, Alastor – both are mediocrely powerful. They couldn't break through the wards."

"Hmmm …" Tonks pondered "What about the goblins? A hostage like Harry Potter –"

"- would endanger their whole wealth and nation, Nymphadora." Dumbledore shook his head "I think it is a safe bet to say they won't risk their future or more precisely money for taking a hostage."

Moody thought for a few moments before looking up at Dumbledore and asking "And what if it wasn't someone from the outside?"

Dumbledore shook his head "Only the order and the teacher have permission to enter the wards, Alastor it –"

"- wouldn't be the first time that we have a traitor in our rows, Dumbledore, and you know that!" Moody said cutting Dumbledore off effectively "It wouldn't hurt to check our members again on the dark mark!"

Dumbledore nodded after a few moments of hesitation. He couldn't really say no to that – after all if someone in his rows had escaped his notice and managed to kidnap Harry it would be better to discover such a skilled spy before he or she could do even more harm. Or discover his plans concerning Harry Potter.

"And maybe we could tie these wards to a parchment where you can overlook and directly control who can enter the wards, you know, Albus! Like a muggle security system. That way no one already tied into the wards can allow someone else access! CONSTANT VILIGANCE!" the young auror said with a grin towards her old mentor who smiled and nodded grimly.

Dumbledore thought for a moment before nodding. He couldn't see anything wrong with that idea. As long as the parchment was kept safe it would certainly serve its suppose better than his already quite full head.

"That's a genius idea, Nymphadora! Would it be possible for you to make such a list, Alastor?" he asked turning towards the old auror.

"Shouldn't you yourself do it, Albus? That way the controlling wards are stronger! And if happen to be kidnapped too, they couldn't find out anything from me!"

"That's true, Alastor." Dumbledore replied, his eyes twinkling with mirth at his old friend's paranoia "However I haven't your talent of seeing every imaginable threat and preventing it in the best possible way."

Alastor nodded gruffly seeing that Dumbledore had thought it out well in that short amount of time "Alright, I'll do it. I'll have it done by the day after tomorrow if that's alright by you"

Dumbledore nodded. "Splendid! Now on unhappier terms … Nymphadora, can you please lower your legilimency shields? I'll try to break down the block that was placed there by whoever kidnapped Harry."

Tonks nodded and closed her eyes when Dumbledore muttered '_Legilimens'. _At first Tonks didn't feel a thing but slowly, slowly she got the familiar feeling (from the Auror training) of a blocked memory coming back to her. She was already remembering her frightened state of mind when suddenly all went blank and the memory was deleted.

Albus Dumbledore on the other hand was watching her memory without much trouble once he had managed to break the memory charm on her, which was admittedly quite strong. He had always expected to see Voldemort or at least a Death Eater kidnap Harry, he didn't though. What he actually saw worried him even more:

**_Memory_**

_Tonks was just jogging beside Harry and Remus when suddenly Remus tripped and almost fell flat on the face. She didn't think much by it though and grinned to him. He grinned back and stopped to tie his shoes, Tonks waiting impatiently. When he got up again, she had already turned to catch up with Harry … a painful, painful error as she would soon see as the last things she heard were two cries of 'Stupefy' before everything went black._

_When she regained her senses Tonks was bound sitting on a bench and looked with disbelieve at Remus Lupin – a man she thought she knew._

_"What do you think you are doing, Remus?" she shouted "This isn't funny!"_

_"Oh I never thought it was funny, miss!" he replied in a sarcastic and cold tone. Remus was never being cold to her though – something was horribly wrong! _

_"Remus, what's wrong with you?" she asked panicking when she saw that Harry was unconscious and bound too "Why would you stun me and Harry?"_

_Remus laughed coldly and stroked her over the cheek before pinching hard the nipple of her left breast. "It would serve you well to pay attention now, miss! I'm not Remus Lupin. Remus Lupin is currently held a hostage at my manor. If you do anything to try and hinder me I will kill you and I will kill him!" he said grinning cruelly "I have loads of silver knives at home ... you understand me?"_

_Tonks nodded through gritted teeth and looked at the man in front of her with as much contempt as she could muster. "Who are you?"_

_'Remus' laughed. "Oh you wouldn't believe me if I told you, Tonksie!" He let go off her breast and smiled coldly. "Now let me prepare my things …"_

_When he had packed his ropes and stuffed them into his bag, Tonks tried again to gain information for Dumbledore and the ministry to use. "At least tell me who you are! So I can hunt you down and kill you!"_

_The man looked at her for long five seconds until he grinned coldly "Courageous words in your position. Now for who I am ... tell Albus Dumbledore James Potter has come to get his son!"_

_His face suddenly changed and a face very much alike the one of Harry Potter appeared. The last thing Tonks heard before all went black again was a spell she couldn't identify._

For the first time in many years Albus Dumbledore was completely speechless. If this was a trap of Tom it was a very good one because he wasn't sure whether he had to take into account a third party to fight against or if Harry really was with Tom and he only tried to confuse Albus.

If it really was a third party Albus wasn't sure whom to deal with. But it looked like a group of very intelligent, influential and resourceful people as they knew of the existence of the order, knew the members and had been able to disguise them as the most powerful ones without anyone realizing a thing. One thing was clear though – it couldn't be James Potter … James Potter was dead. Of that Albus was sure since he had planned his death personally.

"I'm sorry Nymphadora, Alastor" he finally managed to say "I will tell you two what I saw when you return with the parchment. For now I'd like to be alone."

Moody and Tonks nodded – wondering what could've shaken the leader of the light this much. They stood up to leave and went downstairs, discussing the possibilities of what the headmaster could've seen. Tonks finally wondered why she didn't remember a thing about the incident anymore even though Albus had obviously seen the whole memory without further problems.

It wasn't until they were out of the castle and the school ground that they apparated into a small hut somewhere in Norway - a territory where they were sure they wouldn't be overheard by the headmaster.

Before saying another word they tapped each other's head with their wand and murmured '_evanesco dissimulatio'_. Slowly Alastor Moody lost his magical eye and wooden leg, his hair became shorter and thinner, his eyes a golden brown. The false 'Remus Lupin' transformed further, his hair getting messy and black, his eyes hazel until suddenly James Potter stood there. Facing him was a beautiful redheaded witch with brilliant emerald green eyes and grinned.

"We did it, didn't we, James?" the woman asked and pulled her husband into a kiss "We tricked the game master!"

James nodded and looked lovingly at Lily "All due to your brilliant little head!" he kissed her front and let his gaze wander a little deeper until it rested on a place he did have to pinch for the creation of a false memory "Now what do you want to do in the last hour before we are due to meet our son?" he grinned devilishly "I could tie you up again if you want!"

Lily merely laughed, kissed him deeply and sunk down on the bed with him. "If you behave now, perhaps at home loverboy!"

* * *

"You are no better than Mr. Crow, Mr. Blackswan!" Minerva ranted and looked up to see a grinning young man. "References to sexuality, loads of confusions and last but not least offences against Albus Dumbledore! How could you ever believe that Dumbledore has any plans for …"

The young storyteller didn't hear her anymore though. He had already flown out of the windows and soared over the school grounds.

When Minerva looked up again there was only a note saying 'Sprinter1988 – Harry Potter: Junior Inquisitor' alongside the classification number '8914586'

She harrumphed at the young scribes antics that somehow where painfully similar to the older one's.

AN: Yeah, I have used the idea of 'Old Crow'! If anyone else than him/her has a problem with that … I'm sorry to hear that but it's still his/her idea to defend and not yours!

If somehow the great scribe 'Old Crow' whom I admire greatly happens to see this and has a problem with this: I tried to respect YOUR idea by acknowledging that Mr. Crow was Mr. Blackswan's mentor as well as making it clear through a similarity of the names.

If you don't like me using your idea, I will delete those parts and think out something on my own!


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